I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Your cock deserves a montage
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
