Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
