Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
