textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
