I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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