would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I came so hard my ears popped.
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