glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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