Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
