Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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