I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is wine microwaveable?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
