ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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