I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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