VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
