Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
