i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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