how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
