census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
