that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
