We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
