Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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