youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize