thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
