stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
