i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
