I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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