I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize