the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
