I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
