tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
