craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
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I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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