I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also, beer. Big fan.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
