Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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