He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(