Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake