So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar