I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
