so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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