And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
