RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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