did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
