May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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