is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
