Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Quick, to the slutcave!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
