dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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