Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
