Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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