I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
