My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
