brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.