you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my poor anus
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.