Do you still have your period?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
