Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.