There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
smell my finger.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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