Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
