My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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