What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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