he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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