That reminds me...we need to get swords
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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