Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
