you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How does one acquire holy water?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
