If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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