dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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