Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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