STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She is in my trunk
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
farters have to be the big spoon...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
