you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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