Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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