I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
