Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
