I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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