i was rollin on her like bob the builder
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
